When I Lost Sight

I was walking along this path,
lost in my own thought,
absorbed in my own pity and desolation.

When I saw a little boy gazing to the sky, looking at the clouds for answers to his questions about life. For him it was the first time. Yet, he seem to have no doubt.

So compelled was I to his gaze, I had to stop, watch and stare. Remembering so vaguely the last time I felt that curiosity and trust at the same time. I was drawn in by his faith, enthralled by his knowing and uncanny unconditional love, I became absorbed.

What had I lost, what did I forget, and when did I stop dreaming or believing? When did I stop looking above me and around me, instead only down.

I had to ask him, “what are you looking at?”, “what is it you see?”, “where do you go when you gaze?”. In asking him I thought to myself, “when, where, why, and how did I lose that faith, curiosity, and trust?”.

With the energy of his life, a twinkle in his eyes, a gleam and spark, or should I say, a bright light in his soul…he paused. He looked at me studiously, inquisitive in his opinion and insightfulness, he asked me a question.

“When did you stop seeing in the stars and that which you cannot see?”. “When did you stop believing and lose faith?”.

So taken aback by the innocence and insightfulness of this child, I then had to pause. For fear had struck me, with grave sadness and yet with hope.

In his angelic face, his harmonious cheer and excitement, I started to cry. He hugged me, with a force so strong it felt like God had held me Himself. It was like a child being held, knowing they were safe against all.
He said, “Child, do you not remember me?… Our footsteps in the sand?, our many journeys we have crossed?”.

So again, I had to ask him a question. “Who are you, and why do you still believe?”. Only then did I realize it was trust and faith I had lost, thus, I had forgotten.

I had forgotten home.

I had forgotten trust, faith in the unknown, and I had forgotten to look out, instead of down.

They say home is where the heart is; though my heart had shut down; his was always there for me, even when I could not see.

In this I found my way home, and I was forgiven. And, I learned to forgive myself.

Thank you.