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Me looking at the sea from our old home on Hollywood Beach, CA 2017′

Horrific night terror! At least it wasn’t a recurring night terror for once. So bad, made me had to go pee. I mean flying sea GIANT Rock Crab twice the size of humans+, trying to grab you and more. Shit I can’t even describe, nor put in words, what they even were, or are, chasing you. Human testing and worse, by other humans and creatures. Running for fucking life. Fucking worms everywhere. Cliffs and caves.

I’m so sleepy, but scared to go back to sleep, for fear I’ll go back into night terror, worms usually is the case. Have had them ALL my life (I’m 50 years old now). This is exactly why I hate to sleep!!!!!!!!!! Ugh! At least present (current) day night terrors, you can identify what it is (usually) that is trying to kill, torture, rape, or any combo, you, and or, everybody, and or thing, else in your dream.

All of my fucking life!!!! Ugh!!!!!!!!

Me 2016′

If these don’t calm down, I’ll have to go back on meds. Then you dont really sleep, you go into a non REM sleep stage. You dont dream at all. You just knock out. Not cool, but you are not petrified either of someone or many trying to rape, torture, experiment, kill you, any combo, or all of the above human or otherwise. This time period or any other. I have never even seen or heard of a movie or story that even comes close to my night terrors in horror. Dead people, shit that doesn’t even exist in our realm. Talking aberrations. Ghosts. You name it. Like parallel worlds that are very very real.

I have literally slept walked miles, in the pouring rain in new cities (Houston was a big one, knocked on a person’s door, that I had only met once, never went to their condo and said “I was home”, ended up living there from mid 1995 to end 1996. When I came out of the night mare the next morning, I had no idea where I was. They went through my purse found my phone book and called a girlfriend of mine, who picked me up the next day. We and that person’s family ended up becoming friends. The son and I became engaged (another story all together). That is just one of several events with me and night terrors.

I had one when I was in 3rd grade of a aberration talking to me, and waking me up in real life, just to catch my neighbor sneaking across my backyard, trying to commit insurance fraud and burn down his own house. The aberration and the firemen saved my life. So, not all night terrors are bad. Some are simply scary as hell with good omens and or giving me guidance.

Me at 4 or 5 years old, 1975-ish

There are no rules in night terrors. You also end up having endless feeling of Deja Vu in your “awake” and “night terror” or “dream” state. I’ve been getting medical tested for them my entire fucking life. Even had to work with police departments because of them. No, not for a crime I’ve committed. But, someone else has or had. The weirdest part about that, is they are either seeking me out, by referral, or are expecting me when I do come. Craziest thing. All over North America and other countries too.

One day, I’ll talk more about that.

Absolutely HORRIFIC night terror tonight! It’s like dreaming in a lateral Universe. Totally fucking sucks! I dream in like 5D+ on steroids, with vivid colors, smells, taste, feels, sensations and more more, too. Woke up soaked, hard breathing, talking in my sleep, walking into a wall. Ugh!

All of my fucking life!!!! Ugh!!!!!!!!

Me 3 weeks ago 2020

In my recurring nightmares, I know the characters so well, we talk to each other, i know where I am in the night terror or dream, as all this shit is going on, I now have 8 recurring night terrors since as long as I can remember. Just the characters change. How crazy is that! Hell, they warn me of things coming in real life, sometimes they guide me to do certain things for a higher purpose, good things. Or they will tell me the future, mine or someone else’s. Even, tell me the past and something I’m supposed to or should do, mine and or someone else’s past, present or future. They take me on journeys and more.

I can’t even begin to describe my night terrors. They can be good and or bad omens too.

Me 1995′

Anyhow, I’m now awake. They like to wake me up between 3-5am. Mind you I dont fall into any kinda real sleep til 1-3 am, if I’ve fallen asleep at all. Ugh!!!

The real shit kicker, is the more focused and successful or driven I become in my daily “awake” life, the more frequent the dreams and night terrors. The stronger they are too. It’s almost like, something out there is saying, she can handle more, she is getting stronger. I know it sounds crazy, but very true and truthful.

Yep, I’m the queen of the cat nap or the 1-2 hours at a time sleep pattern. Saved a lot of lives though in real life because of it. One day, I’ll share more about me and my sleep and my brain.

Thanks you for letting me speak. Now, you know what I look like too.

Love you guys. Muah.