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What I love about this article is the honesty. I’ve been married for 20 years. During that time I still keep grooming habits private. Yes, he knows I do regular ‘maintenance’ from head to toe. Hell, I own endless tweezers, razors, shavers, waxes, mirrors, brushes, skin, and hair products. I have creams for my scalp, to my toes. Don’t even get me started on deodorants, or perfumes, and unlimited accessories.
He knows not to ask about any new products, or equipment, that ‘magically’ appear in the bathroom, or by the side of my bed. I do tell him I’m doing my brows, and I explained somewhat, on how a female body changes as we age like fine wine. Thus, more maintenance. However, exact details are very broad. Lol. He has come to accept it, and he definitely appreciates it.
As a former professional makeup artist, and instructor, and a 4th generation beauty salon owner, besides the drawers, cases, shelves, and buckets of makeup, products, and more, I tend to own multiples of the same products. He occasionally teases me about having enough to own a small store. Yet, I know he appreciates it.
Though he may fart under the covers, and blame our pooch, I go running to the bathroom still when I have to. Or, at least wait til he leaves the room. I still run the fan, and use air freshener when I go to the restroom, with the door closed!!! Unless I’m home alone. He may pee with the door open, but is a gentleman with the rest. Door closed for when doing his potty biz, and toilet seat down when done. He even knows to use air freshener. We have a code. All the way down to details of I shower, door closed, he bathes, door open, and we usually gab, laugh, review the news, or talk the day’s strategy, or plan of attack.
It’s our code of romance, and keeping a little mystery. Especially, since we live, and work, out of the house, boat, apartment, hotel, or wherever together. Did I tell you we’ve been married 20 years, lol. For us it works.
As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t need to know everywhere I shave, tweeze, or wax. Hell, or how many lipsticks, or liners I have. The only reason he knows when I get my hair colored is because I usually do some major change, and I like to get him excited about my new look coming.
I have found keeping a little mystery keeps the fire in the romance department. Plus, it makes me feel great about being a woman. We both know he appreciates it. We both know I appreciate it too.
Over the years we don’t discuss details of waist trainers, or girdles. How much I weigh, or he weighs. He knows general sizes, whereas I know exact. All either one of us care about is I still like to look beautiful, and sexy to him, for him, and for me, and vice versa. It’s a two way street.
Occasionally, I catch myself wondering how to have instruction if I should fall ill, God forbid, how, or who shall maintain me. However, even though I do all these things, I also know he loves me no matter what.
Years ago we were in a major auto accident. I had to have multiple surgeries on my hand, and a muscle and skin graph for my elbow. He hired a nurse to do my ‘maintainence’, and when she wasn’t there, he did it. One day he told me, ‘honey, you are naturally beautiful to me’. It made me cry, because I was so freaked from the accident and surgeries. It made me smile. He smiled too.
So, he has seen me do it all, when I was at my weakest, and couldn’t help myself. However, as soon as I became strong enough, it was back to the land of a little mystery. I felt better, and was happy, and he was, and is happy, because I was, and am happy. It works for us. A little mystery to keep the fires stoked.
Men have them too. Their bit of mystery. Some more mystery than others. With us, he shares with me 99.9%. Thankfully he leaves out that .1%. That’s what keeps my fire lit.
Do you reveal all of your grooming habits? All of your maintenance habits?
I hope you enjoyed my post, and I hope you enjoy the article that inspired this post. Please feel free to comment below, or share this post. I hope it brought a twinkle to your eyes, and maybe a giggle or two.
Revealed! The Grooming Habits Women Hide From Their Partners
Here are the things women do alone that they just don’t want anyone else to know about.
Stocksy
By Katie Smith
January 11, 2022
I’m going to be honest here: During my first marriage nothing was off the table as far as things I did to groom myself. I pooped with the door open and used the bidet, and he saw me in all different positions shaving various parts of my body. He helped me retrieve a glob of wax from my ear once after I went to the doctor, who told me I had a lot of buildup and that was the reason I felt pain and pressure in my ears.
I’ve always been an open person when it comes to stuff like this. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a house with other girls, and we were raised by a single mother. We were very open about all things. I should mention we scared off a few boyfriends with our openness, but we always figured that if they couldn’t handle it, our parting was for the best.
I never thought women should hide the things they have to do to keep themselves feeling and looking their best (let’s be honest, we have to do a lot). However, now that I’m in a serious relationship post-divorce, I find myself wanting to keep more things to myself.
I don’t want him taking a dump with the door open, and I don’t feel the need to tell him about the epic ingrown hair I pulled out of my knee. For me, it’s really helping keep the romance alive — so I’ll go with it for now. After talking with a group of girlfriends I realized a lot of them keep their grooming habits away from their partners. It doesn’t matter whether they’ve been married for 20 years or they are dating. And the reasons vary from not wanting to argue about cost, to feeling embarrassed, to desiring to keep the magic alive.
One of my friends says she shaves her upper lip and will never let her boyfriend know. She has two grown kids, and she and her man are newly dating. I figured the freshness of the relationship was why, but she said she got her bikini line waxed for 20 years during her first marriage and her husband never knew. “He always thought I had a nice landing strip. Plus, he was really cheap and would have told me it was a waste of money.”
Another woman told me she has her nipples pierced and there’s something she has to do alone, ahem. “When you have piercings there, you can get buildup and it has to be taken care of or else it gets expressed when my husband is, um, fondling or kissing my breasts.” So, she decided to take matters into her own hands and expresses her nipple piercings every other morning in the shower.
Waxing or plucking long, black chin hairs is another popular one. They literally grow overnight, and my friend from high school told me: “My husband is just someone who would tease me about something like this — in a loving way — and I don’t want to deal with it, so he has no idea how much time I spend in front of the mirror.”
My friend who works at my gym says she puts all-natural deodorant on her vulva every morning.
“I don’t know, it’s just something you have to do alone. There’s no need for anyone else to see it, and what do I say? ‘I just put deodorant on my vagina?’”
My other divorced mom friend who was there through my first dating experiences with Tinder said she’s too afraid to get a Brazilian so she just shaves it all — including her butt crack. “If my boyfriend knew, I would die.”
And, my friend who has been married for 25 years says she plucks hairs out of her nipples all the time. “I don’t need my husband to know that.”
So, it seems a lot of us keep more than our spending habits from our partners. It isn’t to protect them, or because we think they will leave us. There are some things we do alone that we just don’t want anyone else to know about. There’s definitely a time and a place to keep secrets from your partner. And if you ask me, any time it makes you feel better to keep the fact you shave or pluck from your partner, that’s more than OK.
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