https://youtu.be/L75JTLZ1NfU

So, what I gather is Chris Rock has been making beyond tasteless jokes AT Will and Jada Smith for years. Jada has acute female alopecia. 99.9% of women are extremely attached to their hair and consider it a judgement of beauty and desireability. She has chosen to shave her head, so people wouldn’t think she had Cancer and Chemo as her condition is that bad.

Chris’s beyond very poor taste ‘joke’, was literally laughing at someone with a medical condition, and acutely aware of the situation.

Though I do not condone violence, I completely understand where Will was defending his wife, and mother of his children. For people were laughing AT HER, for a shaved head, due to a medical condition. Will didn’t punch him. He merely slapped him.

Since Jada’s medical condition is pretty well known, the ‘joke’ would have definitely pushed a ’cause and effect’ response.

What we need to do is move on. How about the movie that WON Best Film? Koda.

Trust me, I have slapped a person for being disrespectful, on purpose. Usually, after they have invaded my personal space or did something wrong to someone else who couldn’t defend themselves.

Since I posted this original conversation on Facebook, the rest is how the conversation continued:

Friend #1:

The suggestion that this should be brushed off is a big no go. The concept you put forward suggests it is acceptable for people to do violence against others over words. I can not disagree more strongly with you. The free pass you are giving is just wrong. Should anyone be allowed to slap any comic they want because they don’t like their joke?

Me:

In this particular situation, Chris was being a ‘Bully’. Her medical condition is very well known. She has been sick on and off related to her condition for years. Her shaving her head was to get ahead of the inevitable. I’m sorry, it is no long ‘ok’ to be the butt of a joke, when it is medical. Nor is it ‘ok’ to target ‘bully’ someone. Not all shit is funny. If he wants to be that sick kinda funny, why doesn’t he talk more about his cheating lying failed marriage more. At least that isn’t medical. Will didn’t punch him. Will slapped him. You could see as people were laughing AT Jada how crushed and hurt she was. That’s a fucking bully, and sick. Will defended her honor, and stood up for his wife, who obviously was very hurt.

Me:

Oh, and just so we are clear, ‘words’ hurt way longer psychologically then a slap. She will remember people laughing at her illness, at her, the rest of her life. She spent hours, and days, working on looking the most beautiful possible, only to be bullied by a fool. Maybe he will think twice before bullying a cancer patient, or Parkinson, or any other medical problemed person.

Friend #2:

Maybe people should be careful of what comes out of their mouth so it doesn’t get smacked. Just saying. 🤷‍♂️

Friend #3:

I agree with you Leila!

Friend #4:

Soooo black folk as a whole didn’t need that on NATIONAL T.V. It’s Chris Rock bein Chris Rock crackin jokes. NO ONE is off limits when it comes to comedy. Most interesting part is that I’m sure Will Smith has a sense of humor because he could be a real clown at times; there was something more to that situation. #TheOscars2022Me:

She has a medical condition. Plus, for years Chris has been cracking jokes AT their expense. Just rude.

Friend #4:

Its not lost on me that she has that health condition; with that said, that should’ve been handled behind closed doors and not on National T.V. Another thing, Will laughed initially (fake or not) and he didn’t get upset until he saw his wife. What does that tell you? Then to top it off he gets his award 45 min later, starts crying talkin about he’s a vessel of love????? Well he jus contradicted his entire speech with his previous actions. Again, Chris Rock was doin what Chris Rocks does and I doubt very seriously his jokes throughout the years have been aimed SOLELY at Jada.

Me:

Yeah, it’s pretty well documented. He seems to like to aim at Will and Jada. From their personal life to family life, all the way to work life, and lifestyle. Pretty shitty.

Friend #4:

Leila as I said, should’ve been handled behind closed doors.

Friend #4:

Leila, Chris Rock has also made a documentary about black women and their hair.

Me:

Exactly! He should KNOW BETTER!!!

Friend #5:

Me:

Will Smith contradicted what he did to Chris with a love speech! How he is learning about loving everyone if he can’t respectfully sever ties with Chris in a dignified way!

Me:

That’s comparing apples to oranges. He was standing up for his wife. He didn’t punch Chris. He slapped him. Even the most dignified from colonial times have slapped a person when insulted or hurt. This wasn’t an isolated instance. Chris has been poking at them for years. This time he went way too far. You can still love everyone, but not love every single person. Everyone as a whole, vs. every single person individually. Quite different. Most people, don’t like most, or any people outside of themselves (questionable), their loved ones, and select people (maybe). Thus, his context is to love everyone. Plus, he didn’t say he hated Chris. He was like ‘you hurt, and humiliated, (in front of the WORLD, ON LIVE TV!) over a medical condition my wife, over how she looks, due to a MEDICAL CONDITION. You dishonored and disrespected my wife’.

Friend #1:

Yeah you are just fu**ing wrong. That’s not what happened. And I hope no one ever hits you because you say something that annoys them or they find off putting.

Me:

That is what happened. It wasn’t off putting or annoying. It wasn’t just insulting. It was humiliating, and beyond hurtful. Chris knows this. He made an entire movie about black women and their hair. Let alone, a now former friend, and their family situation with known health problems, which is very public knowledge. She was humiliated on WORLD WIDE TV, due to a shaved head?, because of an acute medical condition. Those are the facts. She will forever remember that feeling. She will forever have some fool reference G.I. Jane to hurt her. Her condition is incurable. Will’s first instinct was to slap that crap out of Chris’ mouth. Would I have done it, no. However, I would have cussed him out from here to China back stage. Which in this case, could have been even worse if Will had done that. It definitely could have escalated far worse. Chris knew better, he even admitted he knew better. So, he poked the ‘hive’, and got stung. Plain and simple.

Me to Friend #1:

Hey there, I just re-read my original post, and the word ‘you’ was supposed to be ‘I’ (since corrected). Look, I don’t propose violence either. However, you mess with my family beyond boundaries, or friends, or my life, I will definitely take serious issue with it. I’m more of a verbal break you down attacker personally. However, I have been known to slap a person if warranted.

Chris was and is the ‘bully’ in this situation. Will apologized to the Academy and his peers. Just not Chris, who deserves no apology. He knew better than to tell that joke, yet, he chose to any how. He poked the ‘hive’ and got stung. Plain and simple. Common sense says, don’t poke the ‘hive’.

I write about this social situation because there are very strong opinions. What are your thoughts?

For the record, Will Smith did apologize to the Academy and his peers. However, not his now former friend Chris Rock. Poor Jada was seen getting consoled by close friends.

The true lesson learned here is boundaries. I am definitely one in possession of a warped sense of humor. I would probably laugh at a funeral, and definitely in church. I’ve also definitely laughed at someone missing their chair or tripping. However, I also, laugh AT MYSELF ALL OF THE TIME! I even make fun of myself.

Plus, in general, if I’m going to laugh AT SOMEONE ELSE, I will always let them in on the funny, so they laugh with me. I would NEVER laugh at ANYONE’S illness. Nor, am I down for using humor as a form of bullying.

UPDATE:

As more and more has come to light, I am neither Team Will or Team Chris or Team Jada. As far as I am concerned, there simply was no winner, no action thought through, and only negative consequences.

I pray we all move past this in a learning, growing, and compassionate way. We are all a continuous work in progress.